3 Hypocritical Things Adults Say to Kids5 min read
As a parent, you’ve probably said, heard, or had said to your children some of these things. Here are three hypocritical things adults say to children – and what frequently causes them to be completely hypocritical.
1. “You’ll never be able to get up for work as an adult if you don’t start getting up early every morning now.”
As a home-schooling family, we have the flexibility to plan our days around our teen children’s schedules.
But, as we’ve heard more than once, if children don’t learn to get up early in the morning when they’re younger (read: in school), they’ll never be able to get up early for their future careers. We’ve heard it from homeschooling parents, non-homeschooling parents, and exceptionally knowledgeable non-parents.
And we understand. We completely understand that if your child has never had to get out of bed at a specific time and is suddenly required to leave the house at 7 a.m., it may be difficult.
2. “Are you going to pursue THIS interest? You’re going to abandon us in six months because we are not going to pay for anything else.…”
Perhaps it’s the violin. Or football. Or perhaps an oil painting. It’s the next thing your child wants to try, and it’ll cost money and time to do so.
We as parents are hesitant to invest money and time in our children’s new interests because we are tired of them changing their minds. We don’t want to squander our time or money. Perhaps your child was obsessed with ballet a year ago, and the flute six months later. It was the electric guitar two weeks ago. Are we correct?
We understand it once more. We understand that hobbies can be costly. We also understand that some kids truly do have commitment issues and are oblivious to the fact that their constant humble opinion is causing you to throw stacks of cash to the wind.
However, Adults. Minds, too, are changing. Why are we so concerned about our children pursuing an interest that may or may not grow into something bigger when we, as adults, do the same thing?
3. “Couldn’t you just be nice?”
Perhaps your youngster is fighting with a sibling. Perhaps they’ve shown displeasure with something you’ve asked them to do. Perhaps they were irritated by another adult’s attempt to communicate with them. Kids and teenagers have a tendency to wear their feelings on their sleeves. They either haven’t learned to utilize their “be courteous, we’re in public” filter or don’t want to use it. We can feel embarrassed or even enraged by their responses to certain situations as adults attached to them, and wonder why they can’t “just be kind.”
But here’s the strange part: It takes only a few minutes on social media to discover that not all grownups are pleasant. Adults aren’t always respectful or aware of when to apply a filter. Not many adults can hold a discussion without resorting to insults and name-calling. The memes we share on Facebook say a lot. How can we chastise our children for not being conversational and courteous to another adult when we just shared an I’m staying in because it’s too crowded out there meme on Facebook?
How are you going to persuade your child to go to a family gathering and spend 45 minutes whining to your spouse about all the people who were there and the ridiculous things they did?
Perhaps it’s beading. Quilting is another option. Or a certain diet. It’s the next thing you want to attempt, and it’ll cost you money and time to do so. Do you know how much money and effort women spend on scrapbooking, rubber stamping, and essential oils just to leave them in favor of fiber arts, adult coloring books, and blogging? If not, you should seriously consider it!
Some Other Toxic Things That Parents Usually Say To Their Kids
1. Why are you not like your brother or sister?
In every other home, this is the most prevalent sentence used as an unhealthy comparison. We are all different and one-of-a-kind as humans. Being judged by others is the worst feeling in the world, and it breeds jealousy in children. Siblings should be given equal opportunities to express their own distinct identities.
2. Why can’t you speak/walk/behave normally?
Such delicate and ironic remarks inflict emotional harm while also leaving permanent scars. Overcritical actions teach self-doubt in children, which becomes a permanent part of their personality. Even if such sentences are not meant to cause pain, they can leave deep scars on past memories for at least some time, especially if they come from friends and family such as parents.
3. You are too skinny/fat/short!
Most of the time, parents are the cause of their children’s low self-esteem as a result of such personal attacking remarks. It gives them a sense of insecurity. There are some things that a child cannot do, but such statements on a regular basis hurt them greatly. The child begins to deceive and conceal things from their parents.
As adults, we have a tendency to expect things from our children that we are unable to provide for ourselves. Is it a case of wishful thinking? Is it a case of misguided motives? We’re all simply people, whether we’re kids or grownups, and we’re all trying to figure out how the world works. Instead of building a hypocritical gulf between us, let’s support each other and walk down the path. What have you or other people said to your children that is hypocritical in your knowledge?