Why Homeschooling from Fear doesn’t Work?7 min read
As a parent, it’s normal to be afraid of your kids. Whether it is about their futures, their education, their peers, how they grow up and even who they grow up around. Almost every decision that you will make for your children is directly or indirectly driven out of worry and care for them. And that’s just how it is!
It is this worry and care that causes many parents to make the decision of homeschooling their kids.
There are other parents who will also worry while they homeschool their kids. But worrying for your child is one thing and homeschooling them out of fear or with fear is a completely different thing! Let us take a look at some of the fears that parents have when homeschooling their kids and why homeschooling from or with fear doesn’t work!
Fears about the system
So many parents decide to homeschool their kids because they don’t trust the education system out there. They are afraid that the culture will destroy their kids’ minds and beliefs, or that their kids will be exposed to bad language, ideas, influences and people. Some parents will homeschool their children because they want them to embrace their religion and religious beliefs. All these things have only one thing in common – and that is the fact that they’re all rooted in a fear of some sort.
As parents, you somehow feel the need to be in control of every aspect of your child’s life, and that if things are not in your control, then they may not turn out the way you would like them to or the way you planned.
Fears about yourself
There are also fears that many parents can have while homeschooling. Have you ever felt like you are not good enough to teach your children? Do you question yourself and your abilities to teach and mentor your kid because you didn’t graduate high school or you aren’t a certified teacher? These are normal thoughts for any parent that is homeschooling their kids, but is it okay for them to turn into actual full-blown fears?
Many parents will also be afraid that their kids are “missing out” on the “real” school experience or that they might not have as many friends or social interactions as they grow up.
Why does fear not work?
Well, now that we have looked at the different kinds of fears that can grip parents when homeschooling, let us take a look at why it is so necessary for parents to not have these fears in the first place!
Let’s just start by saying that homeschooling is not a guarantee that your kids will turn out a certain way. Just because you choose to homeschool your kids in no way means that they will automatically embrace your religious beliefs or always make life choices that will make you super proud. Your kids are humans too! They are going to mess up irrespective of what kind of an education they have.
As parents, it is your duty to prepare them for the best possible life ahead of them. But that being said, your kids are not ingredients in a foolproof recipe. They will not necessarily turn out the way you want them to. So, if you have decided that if you homeschool your kids, they will turn out just perfectly according to plan, then we’re sorry to say that you have taken on an impossible task! No matter how much we like to believe that we are in control of everything, the hard truth is that we’re actually not. While you can be in control of how you teach your kids, you are not in control of the outcome or the results.
As your kids continue to grow and learn, you will most definitely have a deep impact on shaping them and their lives. You will teach them, read to them, discipline them, talk to them, advise them and guide them almost every step of the way. But at the end of the day, they will make their own choices!
While homeschooling might be the thing that puts your kids on the right path and helps them along the right direction, it may also not! There is no actual way to know that your child will turn out to be the best version of himself simply because you chose to homeschool him! And as a parent who is homeschooling, the sooner you accept this the more peace you will have. You will be able to focus on actually teaching and guiding your child without constantly worrying about the end results or the future.
Just have the confidence and the courage to know and understand in your heart that homeschooling your kids is surely worth your time and effort and this is true not because of how you believe or think they will turn out, but because you simply love to love and teach your kids no matter how they are, where they are and irrespective of how they will turn out to be in the future.
That being said, are you doubting yourself and harboring fears about your abilities to homeschool your child in the best way possible? Please stop being afraid! Doubts about whether or not you’re good enough to homeschool because of your education or certifications (or lack of) should not take root in you to the point of you actually questioning whether you can do it.
Just sit down and think about this for a minute or two – who knows your kids the best? And who do you think loves them more than you? Does this answer something for you?
When it comes to homeschooling your kids, it absolutely does not matter whether you are a certified teacher or not. Various studies and researches show that children who are homeschooled consistently perform as well if not even better than students in public and private schools! Your level of education and qualifications as a parent make little to no difference in homeschooling your kids.
There are so many resources and curriculums available to guide you to teach your kids at home. The bottom line is that you don’t have to know everything – anybody does! And you’re definitely not alone.
And when it comes to wondering about your kids “missing out” on friends and social interactions, then you needn’t worry about that either. Homeschoolers have plenty of opportunities for socialization. You can join a homeschool support group. These support groups offer so many things like sports activities and associations, bands, choirs, graduation ceremonies, proms, play dates and field trips. You will always have opportunities for social interaction and community. And if there is something in particular that you want for your child, you can always take up the responsibility of creating that environment or organizing it yourself!
You don’t need to worry about keeping up with mainstream schools or doing it “right”. Focus on your child and his needs and work at that pace. Always keep in mind that homeschooling is not going to look the same as normal schooling and that every homeschooling family is different. You just need to trust that you’re doing the best you can for your children and that they are learning at the right place and in the right way.
We hope that you now understand the dangers of homeschooling from and with fears. It will not benefit either your child or you in the long run. Instead, be at peace with yourself and the process and know that no matter what, everything will turn out to be just fine. Since the outcome is not in your hands, you can make most of the journey and do your best in the areas that are in your control. Relax and enjoy your children. Spend an afternoon in a local library or take your kid out to the farmer’s market. Enjoy their company, have enriching discussions and conversations. Don’t hesitate to demonstrate your own interests and passions to your kids and encourage them to find and follow theirs.
Above all, remember to focus on what matters the most. Your child needs to grow and learn with you in a healthy and happy manner. Don’t make it a burden for you and your kid. Appreciate your children and help them to mature into independent and good individuals. As you go on this homeschooling journey with them, remember to focus on what you have rather than what you cannot control.